ERMAHGERD ZERMBE RP: RELOADED

ERMAHGERD ZERMBE RP: RELOADED, or EZRP: Reloaded, as it is commonly called, is the third major installment of the RZRP series. This series is currently in progress.

Original Episodes
Chapter One:

It was a cold day in Detriot. The city streets were littered with bodies and trash and drugs. The socialist forces were pushed to the south and da crack party party be takin over the city. Or so they thought. Swagson was covered in blood and really fucked up. He wandered the streets until he found it...the address that Momni had given him. Swagson walked inside. The bar was really dark and stupid and stuff. People be everywhere snorting cocaine and drinking stuff. THe airr was covered in smokes and yall could hardly see. IT WAS really dark and Swagson was all like, "da fuq". Suddenly eh say Momni appear. "High" say Momni. "High" say Swagson. "Wat is going on her?" Momni looked around and stuff. "WElsome to the 'Hardcor Drugz Bar'. This place is a front fo da 'party'. Suddenly a man walked up. He had so much swag and was really asian and had a hat on. He strutted to the Swagson and was like "High". Things were really heeting up. "This be Drew...Drew Peacock." say Momni. "SO...llike, da fuck you want with me?!?!" say swagson. "IT BE SIMPLE..." say momni "WE KILL THE BLACK MAN."

Meanwhile:

John was all alone in the place. He was getting more emo and sad. Suddenly a guy walked up. "high. I am Sandwich Manilla" say the stranga. Suddenly it came to John... Baghdad, Iraq - January 1992 It was the beginning of the end in Iraq. John was there somehow. Suddenly he looked up and say a soldr. "High" say the soldier. And it was the same guy...

END OF FLASHBACK

John was like "YOURE SANDWICH MANILLA" and he was like "Yup." and then John was like "YOURE SANDWICH MANILLA" and he was like "Yup." and then John was like "YOURE SANDWICH MANILLA" and he was like "Yup." and then John was like "YOURE SANDWICH MANILLA" and he was like "Yup." and then John was like "YOURE SANDWICH MANILLA" and he was like "Yup." and then John was like "WOW I REMEMBER YOU." ANd they became friends. Instantedely.

John wuz so happy dat he met his friend SANDWICH MANILLA, he wanted to find the others to tell them...butt where did they go? He remembered Jim M0ARisson popping up and then leaving...and then $waqson leaving for some reason. $waqson was rlly fukked up frum teh drugs. He was talking to himself about pregnancy, and den he shot himself in teh fayce..."I bettr find him." John thought out loud cause he's emo.

Sandwich: "Wut."

John: "AYE THERE! HOW BOUT U N ME GO FIND $WAQSON. WE CAN GET DRUQS N GET FUKKED UP N SHISH." John said excitedly to SANDWICH MANILLA.

Sandwich: "HELLLLLLL YYYYEEEEAAAHAHAHAAAHHHHHHHHH NIQQA!" Screamed SANDWICH MANILLA, attracting teh zambies attention.

John: "SHHHIIIEEEEETTTTT DAWG DAWG DAWG SNOOP DOGGITY DOGG, WE GOTTA ROLL D00D." John screamed, running away with SANDWICH.

Manilla got on his scooter and start scootering away,

Sandwich: "I never should've smoked weed while riding a scooter" John: "Okeh d00d we gotta roll on ovar 2 dat hip nu club called Lik Mi. I know sum1 we can get sum infermation frum thar."

John said, as he jogged liek a blak d00d running with a stolen t.v.

Manilla scratches his rectum then sniffs it "Yeah lets go" Manilla starts scootering again

They outran teh zoombies and got 2 Lik Mi. John looked up at teh sign and was liek,"SHIIIEEETTTTT DAWGG WE'RE HEER."

As the two walk inside da beat is getting sick. They walk over to the bar and sit down.The guy next to them turns to them.

Tyrone: "erm high im Tyrone Calculus."

Manilla looks for a bathroom "MAN I GOTTA WANK!"

Tyrone: "OKAY NICE MEETIN Yo" He looks at the other guy

Manilla looks for a bathroom

Sandwich: "MAN I GOTTA WANK!"

Tyrone: "OKAY NICE MEETIN Yo" He looks at the other guy

Manilla finishes wanking and lick his fingers,

"Hows tits going?" Puts hand out to shake hands.

Tyrone looks at him and vomits all over him.

Tyrone: "Um sorry. Im tyrone."

Awkwardly trying to make conversation he says,

Tyrone: "Um so are you a male pornstar?" Manilla pulls his hand away

Sandwich: "No I wish I was, it was my dreamz but I had to join military and strip tease there"

Manilla starts bawling about his past.

Tyrone: "BRO ITS OKAY WE ALL HAVE DREAMS... *sob* Every sense I was little I dreamed of going to somalia but i neve rmad it. I was the best cello player ever.... but i fucked up my life"

Manilla rubs his nose, and sniffles

Sandwich: "Sorry I gotta bawls, Any ways I Sandwich Manilla, but you can call me po."

Tyrone: "Okay then. SO we should hangout together. "

(Companion added to crew)

Manilla puts his hand down his pants and pulls out crack

Sandwich: "So you wants a smoke and gets like der highs?"

Manilla starts smoking the crack.

Tyrone: "Sure. WHo be yo friend here?",

pointing to John, who was remaining mostly silent. Manilla: "Oh, this be John" snorts again

Suddenly a pimp appears in the center of the club. It be SKEETER.

Skeeter: "wat up brown brothas!?!?!"

Manilla: "Who the fuck are you?"

John: "Oh, that's my good ol' friend Skeeter, how's it goin dawg?"

Manilla sniff skeeter and then put his tongue in his asshole, "Nice flavor!" Manilla gets up "So you gonna helps us in the Zermbeeis attacks?"

Skeeter bitch slaps them both and grabs Sandwich's ear. He screams right into his ear.

Skeeter: "LISTEN. I AM THE ORIGINAL GANGSTER OF THIS CITY. I build this city with my fucken golden dick in hand. STFU...cause AINT. NO. BODY. GOT. TINE. FOR YOUR FUCKEN MOTHA FUCKEN FUCKEN SHIT MOTHA FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!"

John: "Hey whoawhaowhoawhoa yoyoyoyoyo....chill out guyz, I'm heer 2 talk 2 u Skeeter."

Manilla: "Wanna smoke crack?" Hands some to crack to Skeeter then scratches his bwalls.

Skeeter slaps that shit out of his hands.

Skeeter: "I DONT WANT YO CHEAP ASS SHIIIIT!"

Skeeter pulls out a crack pipe and lights it up.

Skeeter: "Here is some REAL magic white." He passes the pipe around.

Manilla falls in love with the magic white

Sandwich: "DAWMN NICE GRACKSAD"ASD"@QWWSDASDAWSDASDAWDAZ"

Skeeter grabs that shit back.

Skeeter: "It has some magic properties yo. Thats your free sample. The rest will be 50,000 bucks yo" John: "So Skeeter, I need to talk to you." Manilla: "Yo I got my diamond dildo, I cant give that shit away" Manilla cries again. Skeeter: "Anyway whatd yo want, John? ol ?" John: "I'm looking 4 mah main man $waqson, $waqson Charles...ya remember him?" Skeeter: "SWAGSON?!?! AInt no body in the socialist side of town seen that fool. I would know! musta ventured into the...the...CPP occupied ghetto. Good luck guys." Skeeter throws them a free shroom on the house and they all split it. John: "Wow...that shish cray..." He said high af, and he looked back up at Skeeter, "So you don't know where he is?" Skeeter: "He's in the wrong side of town. A large journy is ahead of you all. Good luck mofos." [END OF CHAPTER ONE] Chapter Two: The Crew realized they would have to venture into Crack Party Party territory to find their friend Swagson. "Hey leggo to ma apartment." say Tyrone. They wander through the deserted streets toward da apartment. The place be a shit hole and drugs are everywhere. "This is it. HEH HuEHHh!" say Tyrone, gazing at the small room. They all sit down on the groound as Tyrone lights up some weed. "We prob goona need some legit like serial crew, yo. Like a boner fide group of rumscalons. " say Sandwich. Tyrone started bernie-ing and fell into a seizure. He rolled on the floor foaming at the mouth, and was like, "Yeah. Aactually I know two people who can helps." He jumped halfheartedly into the ar and was like "lets goo-! OW FUCK AWSADHJDFKKJ" as he fell to te floor again. Suddenly Tyrone opened his eyes...and it was the next day. ""